5 Rules For Van Owners:
1. Your van must not be white. Try to avoid solid colors, but it must not be white.
2. You must have backseats for your van. A couch will suffice, and they don’t always have to be in the van, but you must have backseats.
3. If you have a bed/futon in the back, you must leave it in the upright position when not utilizing it’s sleep function.
4. You must not have blacked out windows unless you have some seriously expensive junk in your van on a regular basis. A lifetime supply of candy does not count as “seriously expensive junk.”
5. You must keep all things about your van legal (from registration to blinkers), because cops WILL stereotype you. Know your rights and refuse to take their crap, for the sake of van owners nationwide.
As the previous owner of two vans (that didn’t always abide by these rules, including one that resembled the van pictured above, minus the free candy and plus some blacked out windows), and a current van shopper, I’m speaking from years of experience. Also, don’t take any “creeper” jokes personally, as this is an indication that you are, in fact, using your van for creeper purposes.
P.S. If your van is a family van, these rules do not apply.
Disclaimer: The van pictured above is/was not mine.
